Do you want to be right.. or happy?

Covid reorganized my relationships. Some close relations I had- tightened, some loose ones got looser, others dissolved.

I feel I had to re-learn how to communicate on this new ground of COVID-reality. Our brain produces 50.000 thoughts a day. Only 10.000 of these thoughts are positive or neutral. That means our brain spits out 80% of content that could drag you down potentially- we need solid mental protection not to battle ourselves 24/7.

This virus also affected our brain wellness. HOW TO IMPLEMENT MENTAL PROTECTION AGAINST IT?

When my ego takes over, I am F.I.G.H.T.I.N.G. Mainly a battle against myself, because 95% of these fights are in my head.

Having taken away numerous possibilities how to spend our daily life, initiated a rollercoaster of emotions and thoughts in many heads.

I want no rollercoaster of winding thoughts, I want a simple green lea of happy down-to-earth thoughts.

That is why I chose „SIMPLIFY” as my mantra for 2021.

Now. How do I simplify my life? I listened to several podcasts where smart people share their experience and knowledge and set a few rules for myself.

Molto BeltBag in black crocodile
Showing off my new Molto Beltbag/ black with silver fittings
Molto in the sun, shot by Michał Dziengo
Trying out our new camera / Sony A7 III
Molto in the wind, shot by Michał Dziengo
Park Oliwski
Molto in the sun shot by Michał Dziengo in the Park, Gdańsk, Poland.
Molto and Molto Beltbag in crocodile leather with silver fittings shot in Sopot by Michał Dziengo
Love the new stamped Molto Logo on croco leather! <3

MAKE PEOPLE FEEL GOOD/ COMFORTABLE AROUND YOU

Few techniques to feel more comfortable:

  • Set the atmosphere before you begin the conversation. In my opinion, the power of the right tone in our voice is underestimated. Pay attention to how you sound and what message you want to deliver with your spoken melody.

-How do I set the tone for what and how I want this communication experience to be?

  • There is no guideline, but what makes it tremendously easier: humor! A good sense of humor can improve every conversation, and basically nearly every aspect of life: health, relationships, business, leadership. When people have been in danger or are threatened by some risk, it is common for them to laugh when the threat has passed. This is a form of closure, where the tension of the perceived risk is released.The same principle happens with humor, where the confusion, which raises the possibility of threat, is resolved. This is a kind of relief, where we can relax and smile. Use it often, avoid tension and give people relief.

(I am talking about the right type of humor though. If you’re looking to cultivate a sense of humor to improve your leadership skills, you do not want to acquire the Superiority theory. This theory was originally formulated by Plato and Aristotle to explain a specific kind of humor: why we laugh at other’s misfortunes. In their theory, humor is a means of declaring one’s superiority over others. NOT COOL.)

  • be interested, ask genuine and authentic questions.
  • mindful attention- greet your own and other people’s anxiety! Talk to yourself: „Hey, this is me feeling nervous. It’s normal and ok. Move on.”
  • accept that uncomfortable situations and conversations are a part of life and learn how to deal with them.
  • learn how to say „I am wrong. I am sorry. You are right.”

Slow down and take the time to LISTEN

  • That’s a HUGE field to improve for me. I have a problem with listening carefully because often I Have the impression I already know what my conversational partner wants to say. I am wrong most of the time. It is like an electric shock, I just burst into someone’s sentence because my thoughts feel they need to be articulated asap. Plan for 2021: Definitely need to change that.

Be prepared for surprises. Also the ones you make and feel

  • First: acknowledge the emotion, then reframe and respond in a way that allows a calm interaction.
  • It’s easy to read a situation and get all offensive. Breathe- reframe- explain.
  • Question your questions. Am i actually right?…What would Beyonce do?
Michał Dziengo shot by Molto in Gdańsk
Michałek / photographed by Molto
Molto in Sopot, Michał Dziengo Sony A7 III
Podcasts I listened to the past weeks that helped me to set a 2021 plan for myself: (all CLICK-able!)

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